Whats going to happen next

I think ive hit another low point, finding pretty much everything is shit! the only time i can feel like i am having any meaningful conversation is when im here talking to a effing screen, talking but not getting a response, its a like an imaginary friend or somert. The amount of times i have something to say but dont bother is unreal or when i do try i mite aswel be speaking another language because of it being so hard to understand a bloody word, frustration kicks in which makes it worse, then the tears along with anger and by this time i am just a wreck. Everyone around me try so hard to understand, comfort and help me but sometimes i cant see a way out, what do you do? i wish i new the answer. The days are just rolling on and on, get up and sit in this shit, uncomfy chair all day then go bed, its a different world that im living in, my own world with my imaginary friend! get the men in white coats!
Next is the food issue ,now that is very annoying, i dont think you quite realise how much food is such a massive part of every day until you cant eat, its all over the tv, everyone talks about it without realising, im dying for a good meal, a good steak or a bar of chocolate! sadly its not going to happen, what a shitter it is.
If i am honest i would give up if it wasnt for my family, i take my hat off to all you guys that have been dealing with this for years, i dont no how you do it.

This isnt living.

Quick note, those of you that have bought bands through paypal, thanks very much and i will post them tomorrow.