Friday, 15 March 2013

Praying

As you may of guessed i am not very religious but i find myself praying now and again, mainly for a break from the tosser, obviously not making a bit of difference. Yesterday i got up at half 6 in morning and half 10 in the morning i was back in bed till 2 in the afternoon, by half 5 i was back in bed till half 8, then by half 10 it was off to bed again! When got in bed at half 5 i found myself praying, not for a break, i was asking to not wake up, its really getting to me now, I'm not as tough as you all think, there are plenty of people on my facebook stronger than me and in some cases been fighting this for many years.
I am scared of dying, i am scared of it being really horrid time, i want it to happen in my sleep. 

Thanks Shane for your message and sorry i couldn't be there, your grandad was an amazing man and very much a grandad to us growing up and Winnie was another nan, always kept an eye on me and gave me a few bollockings over the years lol. Good to hear from you, keep in touch mate

4 comments:

Rachael said...

Chris no way can you say your not as brave as others that's total rubbish iv never come acros someone so courageous as you in all my life. You never moan and iv never heard you use the words "I can't" and as for the others who have had it for years with all respect it's hit you like a bag of shit and not gradually. Your strong and a fighter many would have give up months ago but not you! You've had a tough few months with the hospital and hospice it's bound to have a nock on effect. Keep fighting love you millions
The other half
Xxxx

Manchester Lass, Now and Then said...

I absolutely loved Rachael's very wise and wonderful words♥ I'm sure you are taking them on board Chris. As always Chris I'm sending you special thoughts and prayers from my little corner Downunder. Linda xxx

Pamela Hirsch said...

I'm just so sorry for you. Maybe some concentration on your breathing would help you get a break from the misery you are suffering. Any phrase, loke on the in-breath 'may my little girl' [substitute her name; sorry i forgot ot], and on out-breath 'be happy'. It' obviously won't improve anything for you physically, but it might give you a mental break from the unhappiness you aregoing through.

karen dish said...

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